


First anniversary

by Aliceinwonderland



Series: You inspire me [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirty Talk, First Anniversary, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, english is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 02:41:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16338260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aliceinwonderland/pseuds/Aliceinwonderland
Summary: Moments of their lives that inspire their music.-- What inspired Zayn to write Pillowtalk?---- Where are you going?Niall didn’t answer he just closed the door and walked away. Zayn stayed in the same place for a long time, maybe half an hour, waiting for him to come back inside and hug him or kiss him. But nothing of that happened.





	First anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes. I hope you enjoy it! I will upload the next one this week.

He was laying on the couch in front of one of the windows, in his living room in LA looking at his notebook and reading the lines of a song he wrote some years ago. The song was his first solo single, and he was so proud and happy because most of the comments from his fans and the press were good.

He looked at the window, outside was raining but the sun was starting to shine in the distance and then he focuses on the lyrics again. Thinking about what inspires him to write something like that and knowing the answer. They are inspired by a weekend, by the weekend of their first anniversary.

He remembers their first anniversary as if it was yesterday. They went to a luxurious hotel adults only, in Greece. In Mykonos. It was their first time there as a couple. The last time they spend time on the island was two years ago with the rest of the boys. And they end up drinking too much and waking up the next morning with a big hangover. And regretting drinking that much and other things they didn’t want to remember.

When they arrived at the suite they looked around. The walls were white, there was also a private small swimming pool, a dressing room behind white and blue doors and a king size bed covered in white sheets and golden cushions. When they closed the door and they were alone, they kiss each other. It was a sweet kiss, tasting each other and enjoying being alone. They had spent the last weeks on the tour bus, going from one concert to another, meaning that they didn’t have a proper time alone. And they were dreaming of this weekend for more than a month.

\- There is a storm outside, we can’t get out of the hotel – Zayn announced when they break the kiss.

\- What plans do you have in mind? –Niall asked smiling and looking at him, knowing the answer.

**Ooh**

**Climb on board**

**We’go slow and high tempo**

Instead of answering, Zayn grabbed Niall’s waist to kiss him and walks them to the bed then he held Niall by the shoulders to make him sit on the edge of the bed. They break the kiss and Niall pulled him closer and the two of them fall on the bed in a strange position and they start laughing.

After some seconds Niall climbed on top of Zayn, looking at his lips and kissing him again. This time it was dirty and raw, like if they didn’t want to lose more time. Zayn caressed Niall’s back under his t-shirt then he pulled it off. After that Niall reached for his neck and starts biting, licking and kissing it. Like a vampire who wants to bite him and drink his blood. With passion.

**Light and dark**

**Hold me hard and mellow**

\- I’m going to left marks on your neck, so everybody would know that you are mine – Niall whispers.

Zayn let out a few moans, Niall moved and took off his boyfriend's shirt exposing his chest. Niall looked at him, at all the tattoos and at his beautiful eyes. He loves everything about him.

\- You’re gorgeous –Niall said with hungry eyes.

He presses kisses to his arms, his stomach and his chest feeling the inked skin on his lips. Then he kisses his lips again. They throw the cushions to the floor, without looking where they fall. They don’t care about it. At that moment, they only care about them.

Everything was quiet, their moans and moves are the only things they can hear. Zayn unbuttoned Niall’s jeans and he pulled them down, so they end up in Niall’s knees. He pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s cock above his boxers while they make eye contact.

They took off the rest of their clothes off and Niall climbed on the bed till his back was resting on the headboard.

\- Come here.

Zayn intertwined their hands and then he moved until he was sitting on Niall’s lap.

Niall grabbed Zayn hips with his hands and then he touched the head of his boyfriend dick with his tongue making Zayn moaning. Niall started moving his tongue in circles and a few seconds later he took the whole length inside his mouth, moving his mouth up and down.

\- Fuck, that feels so good.

Niall hummed making his boyfriend's dick vibrate and sending an electric spark to his whole body. Niall started moving faster, hearing his boyfriend’s moaning his name. He loves watching him like this, so happy and open for him. So beautiful.

Zayn combed Niall’s hair with one of his hands while he rests the other one in the headboard and his forehead in his arm.

\- Stop or I’m going to come. Ni, fuck. It's been so long since the last time.

Niall started sucking with more energy while rubbing his arse cheeks. Zayn rock his hips, he could feel his tongue and his throat. 

\- I’m… I’m gonna

Zayn comes a second later in Niall’s mouth and he swallows it. Zayn moved and lay on the bed next to him, breathless. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to remember how to breathe. After a moment he looks at Niall who was by his side looking at him, biting his lip while he was touching himself.

\- Stop touching yourself. It’s my turn. Where’s the lube?

\- In the suitcase, in the inside pocket.

Zayn left the bed for a second and he returned with a bottle of lube and sits in front of Niall, who had his legs spread so he can have full access into him.

Zayn grabbed Niall’s legs and pull him closer. Niall curled his legs around his boyfriend's waist. They looked at each other and Zayn could tell how desperate Niall was just with a simple look at his eyes. The last time they had sex was a week and a half ago, too much for them.

He reached for his entrance, after smearing his fingers with lube. Then he touched the hole with his fingers and slowly introduce one of them and started moving it back and foward. A few seconds later Niall presses his toes to Zayn’s arse telling him that he didn’t want to go slowly so he added a second finger and then a third one and start scissoring.

Niall was grabbing the sheets with his hands, his eyes were black and he couldn’t stop moaning his boyfriend’s name while he was moving his hips at Zayn fingers rhythm.

\- I want you, don’t wanna wait anymore. I miss you, it's been more than a week.

Zayn stopped moving his fingers and left a kiss in Niall’s cheek and then he presses a kiss to his earlobe and sucked it.                                                                                                                                                             

\- You are so beautiful like this – Zayn voice was a whisper.

\- I want you, I want you deep inside of me. Now. Please.

\- I wanna save that for later, I want you to come like this, fucking my fingers. While I watch you. Come on Ni, came for me.

Zayn bit his lips, he loves moments like this where there are alone and Niall was so turned on by the touch of their skins and by the sound of his voice.

Zayn pulled his fingers deeper touching his prostate, Niall arched his back and after a few more strokes he came in his stomach, resting his hands on his sides and looking at the ceiling trying to catch his breath again.

\- I love you and I love your fingers.

\- They love you too – Zayn says laughing.

\- What time is it? – Niall asks after a few minutes.

\- I don’t know, why?

\- I’m hungry, want to eat something.

\- We can call the room service. I want something too.

They call the room service and twenty minutes later someone was knocking at the door, Niall pulled on his boxers and a shirt and opened the door. The waiter left all the plates in the table near the terrace and then he leaves.

Leaving them in their private space, where the rest of the world doesn’t exist and where they only care about each other. Knowing that nobody can annoy them. They are in their private space.

\- I have something to tell you. But please promise me you won’t get angry –Zayn announce while they were eating.

Niall looked at his boyfriend suddenly worried by his words.

\- are you okay? Is something wrong?

\- Yes, I’m okay, is nothing like that.

Zayn left the glass on the table and took a deep breath. He knows this is not a good moment, they were celebrating their first anniversary, but he knows if he didn’t tell him what is going to happen in a few months he won’t be okay the next three days, and he didn’t want that. He wanted to be honest with Niall and told him what is going on.

Even when in the deep of his mind he knows he will be upset, angry and sad. He needed to know.

\- I had some important talks with management the last month, and with my agent. They have a plan in mind, something they say is going to be good for me and for the group and for everybody. In the beginning, I didn’t like it but now I think is a great option. I just don’t want you to be angry at me.

\- What is going on? You’re scaring me.

\- I’m going to leave the band in a few months.

\- WHAT? WHY?

\- I’m doing it now because I want to, not because they told me so. I promise. You know I was upset with them so many times because they didn’t like the songs I write or the sounds I like for our songs. You know that. And I really think at some point management wanted me out of the band. And I think this is an amazing option, I’m going to take it. I want to sing my songs, the ones I write and share them with my fans.

Niall was looking at him, and for a few minutes, the room was in silence. None of them say a word, just looking at each other. Zayn with a worried expression and Niall without any.

\- Please say something.

\- What do you expect me to say? You’re leaving us – Niall was screaming – WHY? I thought you were happy, apart from the songs and all that. I don’t want to travel the world without you – Niall stopped talking and then he started again with a scared expression – omg, this means you are breaking up with me? Or something like that?

\- No, why are you thinking that? No, what the hell Ni. I love you, I want to stay with you for the rest of my life and you’re the love of my life. I’m not breaking up with you.

\- Then, why are you leaving us? –

Niall gets up and walks to the bedroom shaking his head and Zayn follows him.

\- I want to sing my songs, I want to share them with the world. I want to be recognized for my songs, for the person I am. For the song I write and sing, please.

\- When are you leaving us?        

\- In four months. Hong Kong will be the last concert.

\- I can’t believe it – he sits on the bed looking at him – why didn’t you told me anything while you were talking to management, to your agent? I think I deserve to know those things, to be a part of the decision process. Don’t you think?

\- Yes, I just thought I must make this decision by myself. I think is the best. Don’t be angry, please. I know this is completely new but is a good decision. Don’t be angry.

Niall looked at him like as if he just said something stupid, ridiculous, without sense. He stands up and took a step closer to him.

\- You are asking me not to be angry when you didn’t tell me anything when you didn’t give me the option to be part of the decision process and when you are deciding something that is going to change our lives forever. Don’t ask me not to be angry. We are going to continue with the tour and you are going to disappear just in the middle of it, so that means I’m going to travel the world without you knowing that I'm not allowed to be depressed or upset or even sad in front of the cameras and the fans because nobody can know about us so don’t ask me not to be angry.

Niall opened the suitcase and start searching for something to wear. He took a swimsuit and a pair of flip-flops then he put his clothes on and walks towards the door without saying anything.

\- Where are you going? Niall, please.

Zayn runs to the door to stand between his boyfriend and the door.

\- Move on.

\- No, I want to talk about this with you.

\- Talk about what? You have already made the decision. There is nothing else to talk about. Are you going to change your decision?

\- I can’t, and I don’t think I want to. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Please, think about it. Just for a second, this is a good opportunity. I don’t want to waste it. But I love you. Please. They are offering me contracts, with publicity with things I like. I will be able to sing my songs, to release albums. Love, please.

\-- Move on.

Zayn moved to the other side of the wall and Niall opened the door.

\- Where are you going?

Niall didn’t answer he just closed the door and walked away. Zayn stayed in the same place for a long time, maybe half an hour, waiting for him to come back inside and hug him or kiss him. But nothing of that happened.

After an hour Zayn decided to change his clothes and look for him. He walked towards the swimming pool on the other side of the hotel, but Niall wasn’t there. Then he decided to go to the private bar in his side of the hotel, it was a private part where you had to pay extra to be allowed to go inside.

And he saw him sitting next to a table, everything he could see was his back but before he could approach him he heard his boyfriend voice and he saw a boy near him, on his knees. He wasn’t a jealous person but at that moment an unexpected wave of jealousy hit him. Like a wave you didn’t expect while you are swimming.

He walked towards his boyfriend, and before Niall notices him he was sitting by his side looking angry at the mysterious boy. He was talking to Niall while he was doing something looking at the floor and the boy notices him before Niall does.

- Sorry, but he is taken. Go find another one.

Niall turned his head to him, looking surprised and angry. The boy looked at him, with a cloth in his hands and a shirt with the name of the hotel in it. And suddenly Zayn feels stupid, he was just the waiter. He didn’t notice any of that before. And he seems to be cleaning something.

\- omg, he is the waiter. I was just seating down, and he was cleaning something. You’re stupid and ridiculous.

Niall couldn’t avoid a laugh feeling amused at Zayn’s expression.

\- Sorry. I… sorry. I'm not that kind of person. Sorry - Zayn said feeling ashamed.

The waiter excuse himself and walked away from them.

\- You’re stupid you know that, right? I can’t believe it – Niall stopped laughing – but I still don’t want to talk to you. I’m still angry. And sad. I just want to stay alone. So leave.

\- I was scared. You ran out of the room and you didn’t come back. Please, let's talk. We need to talk about this, be realistic.

\- About what?

\- About what I’ve told you.

\- Is going to be a rough path, we are going to stay weeks away from each other. Maybe a month. What do you imagine I was going to say? To react to that?

\- I don’t know, I just don’t want you to be angry. We are going to go through this together, and through all the time we are going to stay apart. We figure a way to see each other, to talk to each other and to stay together. Come on. Is a good option. I want to start my solo career. Ni.

\- When are you going to tell the others?

\- When we go back on tour, in our suite maybe without anybody else hearing. But I wanted to tell you first.

Niall avoided his gaze, he didn’t want to look at him. He was still angry and sad, so sad. He didn’t want to travel the world without him, he didn’t want to imagine all the nights he was going to sleep alone, to feel lonely and sad. He hates that feeling, that future.

Zayn intertwined their hands and stand up from the chair looking at Niall. He had something in mind and they need to head back to their room and talk. Niall looked at him but he didn’t move.

\- I’m still mad, I don’t want to talk to you. To stay with you now.

Zayn left a kiss in Niall’s right ear and then he whispers.

\- I have something in mind, let’s go back to the room. Come on darling.

Niall turned around and his eyes met. He was still angry, so angry he wanted to scream at him for the rest of the weekend for not telling him anything before and he was scared because in a few months their lives were going to change, and he hates it. The simple idea of not having him near every day consumed him inside.

Niall followed him to their room and after the door was closed Zayn pushed him to the wall and press their lips together, it was raw and desperate. And when they break the kiss to search for some air they look at each other and Niall stares at him trying to delete the sad thoughts from his mind.

\- What?

\- I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t do this to you every day – he left a kiss in his boyfriend's neck and a bite – or this – he touched his dick above his shorts – I hate the simple idea of not having you with me, near me every day.

\- Niall, I hate it too.

\- Then tell them no, you didn’t sign anything, did you?

Niall stopped kissing his boyfriend's neck and looked at him.

\- Just the first one – Niall rest his head on the wall – I had too, they said I wasn’t going to have another great opportunity, I even choose some of the clauses. And they are great. I had to, they threatened me, they told me they weren’t going to give me another option like this one if I say no. Even if the band go on hiatus, they told me this was my only option to go solo. They threatened me with not giving me the option anymore and with boycotting every other offer others want to offer me. Please.

Niall pushed him to the other wall and walk towards the terrace and near the small swimming pool, he was so sad he could feel it in his skin.

\- Ni, please – he sits next to Niall in one of the white chairs – okay I’m stupid for not saying anything. Okay? I was excited because I had a chance to be who I am with my music, can you understand that at least.

\- I agree with you in something, you are stupid. And right now, I hate you, did you think in us when they told you all these amazing things and when you sign the first contract?

\- Yes, at the beginning I was scared because I don’t wanna lose you because of this, but I thought maybe if we're not anymore in the same band we can be freer from all the contracts we signed in the past. And I force them to add a clause about us.

Niall turned his head to him, waiting to know more about it.

\- It says that I can't say anything negative against you and every year I’m going to have these days off, on our anniversary. Always five days. To be with you wherever you are. And stay together.

\- I like how that sounds –Niall announced – but I’m still angry and sad. That doesn’t change the fact that you did everything without telling me about it and that I’m going to travel the world without you. And I don’t want to lose you either. We are a couple we shared these things, we talk. At least I think is what couples do.

\- You are not going to lose me. I love you more than anything in the world. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life – he whispered – you’re mine and I’m yours.

Niall looked at him and smiles. Zayn left a kiss in his cheek.

\- Do you want me to prove that to you? – his voice was low but clear.

\- I’m still angry.

Zayn stares at him but didn’t say anything.

\- Do it, prove it to me that you are mine – Niall took a deep breath.

\- Okay, come with me.

They walked inside and when they arrived at the bedroom they lay in bed Zayn on top of Niall.

Zayn started to leave kisses and bites in Niall’s neck. Leaving little marks in his pale skin. He loves leaving little marks and looking at them when they in public like at a concert. Knowing that they may be in the closet but they can’t control everything they do, especially this type of things. 

Niall wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist pressing their bodies and rocking his hips, then he slides his hands under his shorts and his boxers, squeezing his cheeks.

Zayn left his neck and sits on Niall’s lap, then he takes his shirt off, rolls in bed and takes Niall’s clothes off as well as his and threw them to the floor. When they are both naked Niall sits on his boyfriend’s lap, looking at him and biting his lip.

Zayn stares at him, looking at his beautiful blue eyes and he can see sadness and pleasure in them. Both feelings fighting with each other to see which one wins, while he was lost in that thought Niall grabbed his hips and pressed their bodies and their lips together. Their tongues touching and dancing in their mouths.

**I’m seeing the pain seeing the pleasure**

**Nodoby but you, ‘body but me**

**‘body but us, bodies together**

Then he breaks the kiss and Zayn spread his legs.

\- Tell me what do you want me to do – Niall orders him – do you want to prove to me that you are mine?

Niall press their bodies together, bringing friction to their semi-hard dicks and making his boyfriend moan.

**I love to hold you close, tonight and always.**

**I love to wake up next to you.**

**Tonight and always**

\- Yes. I want you to fuck me. I want you. Please.

\- Just that? – Niall bit Zayn lower lip.

\- No…

\- What else do you want? – Niall stares at him for a second.

Zayn pushed his hips up, but he didn’t say anything for a long minute.

\- Fuck Zayn, tell me.

\- I want you to open me up for you.

Niall grabbed the bottle of lube from the other side of the bed, smeared his fingers with it and runs one of his fingers around his hole teasing him, then he gets his finger inside, a few minutes later he added a second one and then a third one. Zayn arched his back and Niall start to move them.

\- Fuck, Ni… please. Don’t want to wait more. Please. Fuck me.

Niall took his fingers outside, add more lube to his dick and then grabbed Zayn hips, pulled him closer and switched his dick between Zayn arse cheeks. Zayn curled his legs around his boyfriend's waist and press his toes to his bum.

**In the place that feels the tears**

**The place to lose your fears**

**A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw**

\- Impatient? Hum...

Zayn stares at him but he didn’t say anything instead he grabbed him from his arm reaching for his lips and they kiss. It’s dirty and desperate, just like how they feel in that moment. When they break the kiss Zayn falls on the bed again and Niall went back to his position and started to get inside him slowly.

He waited a few seconds while Zayn adjust himself and then he starts moving, back and forward. The first thrusts were slow, to find the rhythm and make themselves comfortable then, without a warning he started to move faster, hitting Zayn prostate with every thrust and making him groan. 

\- Feels so good Ni, so fucking good…. Omg... don't stop. Fuck...

Niall pet his stomach gingerly, looking at him and feeling happy for a moment. Forgetting about the situation and why he was angry and sad moments before. He reached for Zayn lips and started sucking and kissing them.

When they are together he feels happy, strong like it doesn’t matter what management tell them, what they do to try to break them o to annoy them. With him by his side everything is better, everything looks brighter. And he didn’t want to lose that feeling, to lose him, his ally.

**Fucking and fighting on**

**It’s our paradise and our war zone**

\- I love this feeling, you inside of me. I miss it – Zayn said with his eyes closed.

Niall started to increase the pace and Zayn entwined their hands.

\- Ni, I’m close, so close… fuck

\- Fuck, me too. Do you want me to come inside you love? Tell me, do you want it?

\- Yes, please. Fill me. I love it, I want it. Please – his eyes were dark, full of lust.

After a long thrust, Zayn came untouched moaning his name in his stomach, a second later Niall came inside him with a moan and they smile at each other happy, covered in came and sweat. Niall rolls to the other side of the bed with a smile and feeling blissful.

-That wasn’t enough – Niall said and Zayn looked at him – I want you to prove it all the weekend.

\- Deal – Zayn smiles – We can do whatever you want, what are you thinking?

\- A lot of things – Niall smiles naughtily and raise an elbow.

\- We should shower and eat something – Niall suggests a few minutes later.

\- Yeah, we should – Zayn reached his mobile from his night table – it’s nine o’clock.

They shower together between kisses and hugs. Then they order something from the room service again, and after eating their dinner they lay down in bed to watch a movie, Niall curling into Zayn arms. His cheek press to his chest, feeling relaxed to the sound of his heart beating.

**Pillow talk**

**My enemy, my ally**

**Prisoners**

**Then we’re free, it’s a thin line**

\- I can’t believe you are leaving the band.

\- I know, I will miss you and the lads but I’m also so excited. You always like my songs and you always say I deserve better.

\- We all deserve better. I want to be free from the contracts but is not that easy. They want you out of the band for whatever reason they might have, so they win again.

\- You know I love the band. They are my friends, and I love you so much. But I don’t want to lose more time I want to be my true self at least in my songs. We could sing a song together maybe.

\- That sounds great – Niall rolls to the other side – but I can’t stop thinking about the days we are going to stay apart, the nights. I don’t even know if I will be able to sleep without you near me. I’m to use to sleep with you every day on tour.

Zayn wrapped his hand around Niall's right arm and lay next to him pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

\- We figure it out how, we can call each other, or skype or send us videos – Zayn reach for his hand but Niall didn’t move.

Niall sat on the bed, legs cross and elbows resting in his knees. Trying to calm him down.

\- It’s okay, Ni don't worry. It's okay. We still have some months. And then I can go wherever you are in the world if I don’t have to work.

\- Do you really think management is going to let us live like that, following each other from one city to another or doing skype in the middle of the night in the bus? When we are together, we can be strong, I don’t care if we annoy them when we are together. But you are leaving and I’m going to stay with them every day on tour. And I’m not allowed to be upset or sad in front of the fans, the cameras. I'm so fucking scared. I don’t want to act different around the fans, to hide my feelings during the concerts. You know sometimes I'm like an open book about my feelings.

**So we’ll piss of the neighbour**

**In the place that feels like tears**

**The place to lose your fears**

**Yeah, reckless behavior**

They looked at each other, Niall love him more than anything. But he avoids his eyes after some seconds. He didn’t want to feel sad or scared or angry but he can’t change his feelings. He couldn't stop feeling scared. 

\- We’ll get through everything. We can do it, and when everything ends we are going to stay together. And I don’t care if they didn’t let us follow each other from one city to another, because I’m going to follow you to the moon if it's necessary to stay together –Zayn announced

Zayn approached him and try to hug him from behind but Niall left the bed before he can hug him.

\- How can you stay so calm? Please, Zayn. Everything is going to be a mess. Management is going to try to break us more, to bother us in every occasion. At least if we are together every day we can be strong or fight them properly because we are with each other every day. I know you always want your own music albums, but I didn’t expect this when we are still in the band. Don’t ask me not to be angry or sad. You could have wait till we reach the hiatus.

\- I wanted this for so long yo know it, and they threatened me.

\- That's horrible. But I can't, I'm scared. You did all of this without me. And you could have wait till the hiatus.

Zayn rest his knees on the edge of the bed looking at him.

\- Okay, pause.

\- No. We need to talk about this. I want to talk about it.

**Fucking and fighting on**

**It’s our paradise and our war zone**

They pause their fights sometimes, when they are in shitty situations, around other people like the lads and management or when they are on a special day. Like their anniversary. And they started the fight again when they are at home, in their suite or alone somewhere else.

\- Ni, I know I should’ve told you about the contract about the decision. I know okay? I’m so so sorry, I’m stupid. I’m the most stupid person in the world. I’m sorry, Niall. Really. But tomorrow is our first anniversary and I don’t want to keep fighting with you. Pause till Monday morning. I want to remember this weekend and smile. I want to enjoy every minute.

\- Okay, pause till Monday morning. But you should know that on Monday morning I will scream at you and I will be angry. And sad. And we need to talk about this. Okay?

Zayn looked at him, feeling happiest. And he smiles.

\- Okay.

Zayn smiled at the lyrics. Niall was right about management, they try to break their relationship, they annoy them on every occasion. But they love each other more and more every day and they are still going strong. And he knows that his future husband loves the song so much that he surprised him humming the song a lot of times these past years.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment or kudos if you like it! lots of love!


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